Chris: hello and welcome to TDI south park season two!  Our campers will be arriving soon, here comes the first boat

a boat arrives, four kids get off

Chris: welcome to camp!
Cartman: *looks around* ay, where is the spa? And the resort?
Stan: yeah dude, you told us we would be at a resort!
Kyle: I don’t see anything
Kenny: mmph!
Chris: yeah, well we kind of told all the campers that, so they would sign up
Stan: aw dude that’s weak
Cartman: lame
Kyle: so your forcing us to stay here?
Chris: yes, pretty much
Kenny: mmph *crosses arms*
Chris: anyways, go stand over there, here comes another boat!

Another boat arrives, Pip gets off

Chris: welcome to camp, pip
Cartman: aw don’t tell me pip is staying here
Chris: sorry dude
pip: do you have any tea?
Chris: this is a crappy summer camp, not England
pip: all right
Chris: ok, go stand over there with the other campers
pip: *walks over to other campers* hello
Stan: you suck get away from us
Kenny: mmph mmph!
Cartman: yeah, like Kenny said
pip: *stands on other side*
Chris: ok then, now lets meet our other campers, we have a lot to go

a boat comes and drops off a little boy

Thomas: hi
Chris: welcome to camp
Thomas: COCK
Chris: excuse me?
Thomas: sorry, SHIT
Chris: oh, right, your mother said that you had turrets
Thomas: that’s right COCK SHIT
Chris: alright, go stand with the other campers
Thomas: *walks over to others* PISS
Chris: ok, now here comes another boat

a boat arrives, four more boys get off the boat

Chris: hello, welcome boys
Tweek: ARGH!
Chris: uhh, is he ok?
Token: he has a caffeine problem
Chris: oh, ok
Clyde: this place sucks
Craig: yeah, totally
Chris: thank you, now go stand over with the others

the boys walk over

Thomas: SHIT HEADED COCK FACE
Craig: if I could say *beeeeeeeeeeeeeeep* on a reality TV show, I would be sooo happy
Chris: alright then, here are some more campers

a boat drops off two girls

Wendy: this place is gross
Bebe: I thought we were on a resort
Chris: nope, now go stand over there

Wendy and Bebe walk over

Wendy: hi Stan
Stan: shut up you *beep*
Wendy: fine then
Chris: oh, some rivalry already
Stan: shut up dude
Thomas: SHIT FACE
Craig: if I could say *beeeeeeep* t the host on national television, I would be sooo happy
Chris: anyways, another boat is coming

a boat comes, Kyle’s mom gets off holding Ike

Kyle’s mom: Kyle, you forgot your baby brother! *Gives Kyle Ike*
Kyle: damn
Kyle’s mom: now watch over Ike, Kyle *leaves*
Chris: ok then, we have a two year old joining us
Kyle: he’s four
Chris: don’t care, anyways who’s next?

A boat comes, and drops off a towel

Chris: a blue towel?
Towelie: don’t forget to bring a towel when you swim in the lake!
Chris: … it talks?
Stan: that’s towelie
Towelie: wanna get high?
Chris: uh, no thanks anyways go stand with the other campers
Towelie: can we get high first?
Chris: NO!
Towelie: ok *walks over to others*

another boat arrives, Butters, Timmy and Jimmy get off

Chris: hello, welcome to camp!
Timmy: TIMMEH!
Chris: yeah, we get your name is Timmy
Timmy: TIMMEH
Chris: shut up dude
jimmy: how n-ni-ni-nice it is to be here
butters: has Mel arrived yet?
Chris: not yet
butters: oh hamburgers
Chris: anyways, go over there and we will meet our other campers
butters: Okie dokie

they go over with the others

Chris: now to meet our other campers

a boat comes, and drops of two girls and a skunk

Sammy: KENNY!!! *Runs up to Kenny and glomps him*
Butters: MEL *runs up and hugs Mel*
Mel: BUTTERS I MISSED YOU!
Chris: ok then, wait, what’s with the skunk?
Sammy: that’s Tod, he is staying here don’t worry I got him operated on
Chris: ok, now the other campers

a boat comes and drops off a girl

Claire: OH MY GOD KYLE IS HERE!!!
Kyle: oh no, you never said she would be here
Claire: KYLE!!!! *Runs up and hugs Kyle*
Kyle: get off me
Ike: Kyle has a girlfriend Kyle has a girlfriend!
Kyle: I do not!
Sammy: you know you love her
Kyle: no I don’t -.-
Chris: dude, you are totally crushing on her
Kyle: I AM NOT
Claire: Kyle your so cute
Kyle: WE BETTER NOT BE ON THE SAME TEAM
Chris: you’ll see, anyways we gotta get through the campers

a boat drops off a boy and tow girls

Livvie: *drops bags* STAN I MISSED YOU A LOT *runs up to Stan and hugs him* WENDY STAY AWAY FROM MY MAN OR IM GOING TO KILL YOU
Liana: WE’RE HERE!
Cody: hey dudes!
Chris: anyways, you guys can stand where the others are
Cody: *tries to carry liana, falls down*
Liana: *giggles* Cody your so cute
Chris: common hurry up
Liana: common Cody Wody *goes to other campers with Cody*
Chris: *chuckles* anyways, now the other-OW WHO THREW THE ROCK AT ME
Liana: that was for laughing
Chris: *glares at liana* anyways, more campers!

A boat drops off two girls and two boys

Kourtni: hi guys! FINALLY I get away from my family
Zac: yeah, common babe lets stand with the others
Kourtni: okay*walks over to the others with Zac*
Mad: common Day, lets go *walks over with day*
Cartman: who is this weirdo?
Mad: *picks up cartman by the collar* call me weird one more time and I’m going to burn you like an apple pie in the oven *holds up a lighter*
Cartman: I-I-I meant weirdo in a good way, PLEASE DON’T KILL ME
Mad: *lets cartman go*
Cartman: *runs and hides behind crowd*
Day: *puts arms around mad*
Chris: anyways here are some other campers

a boat comes and drops off 3 girls and a boy

Tappy: *walks over to us*
Sammy: HI TAP!
Tappy: hey Sammy
Mandie: hi guys
Sweeney Todd: hello everybody
Sammy: *screams and hides behind Kenny* sorry he scares me
Mandie: *rolls eyes then stands with the others with Sweeney*
Kena: *is eating corn* OMG HI CODY!
Cody: hey
Kena: *runs up to other side of Cody*

another boat arrives with Cali, Holly, and the other Mel (ionshu)

Mel: hi guys *walks over with other campers*
Holly: hey ^_^ *walks over to others*
Cali: hey guys, HI CODY! *Runs up to Cody too*
Chris: why does everybody like Cody?
Liana: because he is smexi
Kena: totally
Chris: if you say so
Cali: you know we’re right
Chris: anyways, here comes another boat

the boat drops off 2 couples

Chris: DJ, Tyler nice to see you guys back
Sydney: *jumps on Tyler’s back*
Kairi: *hugs DJ*
DJ: *picks up Kairi and carry’s her over to group*
Tyler: *walks over to group with Sydney on back*
Chris: alright, now there comes the last boat

*a boat comes and drops off Gravity and Boomer *
Gravity: hi guys, thanks for having me on
Boomer: sup?
Chris: alright, I think that’s everybody *looks at a list* ok, now all campers line up I’m putting you in your teams, either the screaming gophers, or the killer bass. Kenny, Butters, Cody, Ike, Claire, Cartman, pip, Liana-
Liana: YES!!!!!!!!!
Cody: WOOOO!!!!
Sammy: *crosses fingers*
Chris: -_- liana, Sammy-
Sammy: YAY
Chris: ALRIGHT NO MORE INTURRUPTIONS, ok, Sammy, Boomer, Kena, Cali, Mel who loves butters, Mad, Day, Livvie, Stan, Thomas, Craig, Towelie, you 20 campers are on the screaming gophers!

Gophers run to one side, Chris tosses the flag over, Boomer catches it and un rolls it, the team cheers.

Chris: Wendy, Gravity, Holly, Bebe, Tweek, Clyde, Token, Timmy, Jimmy, Tappy, the Mel who doesn’t love butters, Kourtni, Zac, Mandie, Sweeney, Kairi, DJ, Sydney and Tyler are on the killer bass


Chris tosses them the bass flag, Tyler catches it and unrolls it

Chris: alright, go get unpacked, the confession cam is over there if you need to say anything to the world, remember the confession cam is where you can say your honest thoughts out loud for the world to hear

-confession cam-
Sammy: I like my team, except for one tiny flaw, the British *beeeep* wait, did they just beep me out? HOW DARE YOU BEEP ME OUT SAYING PIP IS A BRITISH *beeeeep* STOP THAT *crosses arms*

Kenny: mmph, mmph mmmmph mph mmmmmmf mmph mmph!

Liana: *is making out with Cody*

Thomas: I hope my team doesn’t get mad at me for having my disease COCK!

Timmy: TIMMEH!

DJ: I’m glad to be back on the island, I had some bad times, but also many good times, and now I have a girlfriend

-confession cam off-

gophers cabin

Sammy: I CALL TOP BUNK!!!
-Chris walks in-
Sammy: DON’T COME IN WE’RE CHANGING
Livvie: no we’re not
Sammy: well we could have been
Chris: yeah, well the guys side of the cabin got struck by lightning, so they will be camping with you
Liana: how did it get struck by lightning?
Cody: Kenny walked in and-
Kena: IM SLEEPING WITH CODY
Cali: NO I AM
liana: I WANT TO SLEEP WITH CODY!
Mel: WELL IM SLEEPING WITH BUTTERS
Sammy: IM SLEEPING WITH KENNY, KENNY IS BETTER
Mel: NO BUTTERS IS
Sammy: NO KENNY IS
-they starts arguing-
Sammy: BUTTERS LIKES HELLO KITTY
Mel: KENNY LIKES BOOBS
Sammy: THAT’S JUST HIM, HE’S PERVERTIVE LIKE THAT
Mel: YEAH, AND BUTTERS IS CUTE TO LIKE HELLO KITTY
Mad: this is going to be a looong night -_-
Day: I agree
Livvie: SHUT UP! You three Cody fans take turns sleeping with Cody, Sammy and Mel shut the *beep* up about Kenny and butters, and Stan you sleep with me! Now shut up and go to sleep
Sammy: pip you sleep far away from me
Claire: *grabs Kyle* Kyle you can sleep in my bed
Kyle: NO!
Claire: fine Craig can sleep with me
Thomas: SHIT
Craig: if I could scream *beep* out loud in a cabin I would be sooo happy
Claire: good for you, Craig
Liana: pip you can sleep under Cody and me, then when its Kena and Cali’s turns to sleep with Cody you can sleep with me
Pip: alright, thank you for your generosity
Cartman: *climbs up on top bunk, bunk falls*
Kenny: *points and laughs at cartman*
Cartman: KENNY SHUT YOUR GOD DAMN MOUTH
Kenny: mmph mmmmph!
Mad: what did he say?
Sammy: he said “no way dude”
Kyle: ready Ike, kick the baby!
Ike: no, don’t kick the goddamn baby!
Kyle: kick the baby *kicks Ike out window*
Claire: *runs out and gets Ike* Ike can sleep with me
Ike: ok
Livvie: *kicks Kenny*
Kenny: *kick Livvie back*
-they start fighting and kicking each other-


-in the bass cabin, things are a little more calmer, less rivalry-

-guys side-
*guys are having belching contest*


-girls side-
Sydney: let make Kenny go into the guys side so it catches fire
Kairi: ok, then the guys can come into here!
Kourtni: awesome idea!
Mandie: I don’t want to go in the gophers cabin, I looked through the window, they were all fighting, lets just go into the guys side and ask somebody if they have a lighter
Kourtni: I think Zac stole one from Duncan, we can BURN THE CABIN DOWN!!!!
Tappy: then we can burn Duncan down
Kourtni: that would be good for walking in on me and Zac, when one of us goes home we can send them the lighter to burn up Duncan
Tappy: yay!
Wendy: that should be fun
Bebe: totally!
Gravity: Kourtni you can go get it since its your boyfriend
Kourtni: ok, let me tell Zac the plan
Mel: tell him to leave his lighter out, the “accidentally” step on the button that turns it on, which will start burning the cabin
Kourtni: ok

Kourtni goes over to the guys cabin, gets Zac, tells him the plan. Within minutes the cabin is burnt down, forcing the guys to move into the girls side. The couples start making out, while the rest play cards.

Chris: All right, next time you join us we will actually be doing stuff. at the end of the next episode, two campers will be voted off. Of course we’re on a budget so we used an idea from somewhere else. Tune in next time for more fun on TOTAL DRAMA ISLAND